Women Don’t Owe You Pretty by Florence Given – Book Review

What’s this groovy-looking book that’s taking over social media, bookshops, and people’s lives? Women Don’t Owe You Pretty by 21-year-old feminist Florence Given, is the ultimate guide to challenging ‘the out-dated narratives supplied to us by the patriarchy’. Not only is her debut book a Sunday Times bestseller, but it’s everything we NEED to be told about the way we treat ourselves and others.

As someone who enjoys educating themselves on societal issues, I was yearning to read Women Don’t Owe You Pretty. Growing up in a society where the male gaze is the priority, I was desperate to see life from Florence’s self-loving perspective. Here’s what I thought of her advice about how we owe men nothing, least of all pretty.

What is ‘Women Don’t Owe You Pretty’ About?

The book is 200 pages of soul-enhancing content, tackling subjects such as feminism, racism, sexuality and gender. I’d say it’s suitable for anyone of any age, as ‘it’s a generation thing’ isn’t an excuse for ignorance anymore. Florence is a queer feminist illustrator, and her staple-piece artwork is featured throughout (which you’ll become obsessed with). It’s okay if you’re not a big reader. There are plenty of bullet points and lists which break down the content. With vibrant colours and relatable topics, I was immediately drooling at the introduction page. ‘Protect your energy’, ‘stop putting people on a pedestal’, and ‘check your privilege’ are a few of the powerhouse chapters that will show you the mindset you’ve been missing.

An important note is that relevant chapters have a trigger/trauma warning (TW). This is incredibly respectful to the reader, as not everyone can face certain subjects due to personal reasons.

Is the Book Revolved Around Hating Men?

No.

It’s not about hating men, it’s about loving yourself despite what they think of you. You don’t need their approval to exist.

This book has an introduction to feminism, which people are afraid of. Feminism is seen as an overbearing, narcissistic belief in which women become self-absorbed. Well, it’s not. Feminism is standing up against the uncomfortable, shrinking society that enforces we’re less equal than men. Florence uses her privilege as a cisgender, white, social activist to tell us about her story into feminism. She’s encouraged me to revisit discriminating conversations with men (and women!) that I’ve had, but shrugged off. Little did I know the toxicity I was inhaling whilst laughing off misogynistic jokes, desperate to people-please. I’m thankful for the ways that Florence explores feminism, as it puts you in the mindset of self-discovery.

Something that we do daily is indulge in other women’s flaws. We all have subconscious thoughts that make us feel better by tearing others down. Women Don’t Owe You Pretty investigates the ways we can channel these thoughts into productive, accepting views. A top tip I’ve taken from this book is to stop scrolling in the mornings. This was a terrible habit for me, as I’d see people’s highlights before starting my day! There’s a whole chapter about this, which I go back to all the time.

How This Book Made Me Feel

I felt hooked, angry, and ready for new beginnings. I took the book everywhere with me, chipping away at chapters as I went about my daily routine. Brilliantly, you can revisit it over and over again. The messages and inspirational guidance within its pages are always there for you.

I’m not exaggerating, my feelings towards myself have been evolving everyday thanks to Florence Given. I no longer feel comfortable sitting in silence and being obedient to the rules that society projects on to us from when we’re born. Have you noticed the way people get offended, and feel personally attacked when someone does something that personally makes them happy? A woman kisses the same gender in public = disgusting. A man wears makeup = gay. When I hear these comments, I feel enraged. Why can’t people just let others enjoy their lives?! I’m not prepared to stay silent about it anymore. If someone speaks in an oppressing way, I’m going to do my best to educate them. Righting the wrongs of society isn’t about forcing your beliefs down people’s throats; teach them how to grow.

This book educated me! I genuinely feel like I learnt so much about the patriarchy, stereotypes and privilege. Also, do I really protect my energy? All the pushover moments and putting time into others, to receive little to no effort in return, is exhausting. This trait comes with being a people-pleaser, i.e. feeling the need to please everyone I meet, even if I don’t know them. When meeting people from all over the world, I’ve realised that not everyone will like me. Similarly, I don’t have to like everyone either. Putting myself first is going to take time, but I need to do it to gain confidence and live for myself.

Would I Recommend Reading ‘Women Don’t Owe You Pretty’?

Hell yes! Buy it for Christmas, give it to your best friend, ask your family to read it. Women Don’t Owe You Pretty should be on the shelves of every book store.